Today is a difficult day.

I find myself, overwhelmed, exhausted, emotional and frustrated.  

I used to be so good at handling a busy life. I could multitask with the best of them.  

Now, it seems I'm putting coffee creamer in my cereal, missing my turns while driving (sometime resulting in multiple circles back), and feeling pulled in a hundred different directions.

I know many would say...that's just life honey.  I know, I hear ya! 

Here's my challenge.

My reaction to my "mistakes" has become a frustration with myself.  I used to say "that's life, laugh it off and move on."  Now it's "why can't you handle this or you used to be able to handle this." 

There's been a shift. I no longer attribute my foggy mind to "life" I take it personally.  

Why can't I handle it all?

Why can't I focus?

Why can't I function like I did before?

Why does it have to be so hard?

Why?

When loss or tragedy occur we take a hit.  I'm realizing it's a hit that might stay with me for the rest of my life. 

Sure...the weeks, months after loss you're "off your game."  That's to be expected. 

What happens when it's a year later and you still feel "off your game."  

There seems to be an expectation that we will go back to functioning as we did. What happens if I never get my old game back?  Maybe I have to find a new game.  

Maybe it's time to realize I'm a new me. I am forever changed.  

I have to have an acceptance that right now where I sit my world HAS to be slower than it used to be.  As much as that pains me to admit.  I have to go slower than what I'm used to.  

Be patient and honor where you are today. You may be here for a moment, for a year, for several years or for the rest of your life and that's ok. 

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