About four months after Adeline passed away, I had an overwhelming desire to create a vision board. I found myself in desperate need of a visual reminder that the future could look different than my current reality. I needed to know that someday life wouldn't hurt this much.
When Josh and I married, we had plans and a clear picture of what we wanted for our future. When we lost Adeline I felt like I was loosing that vision of our future. My dreams became cloudy and fading. After a loss such as ours, I began to wonder if our vision could be realized at all.
My vision board provided me with a pause button. I was able to capture all our plans, all the places we wanted to see and things we wanted to do. They could all hang there on the wall, not forgotten but frozen in time. Until the storm passed and I could see a little sunshine again. It provided me with hope, hope for our future and for what could be someday.
This visual hung next to our bed for about six months. It was the first thing I saw when I got up in the morning, and the last thing I saw when I went to bed at night. It was my compass in a crazy and confusing world. It reminded me "why" I should choose to get up in the morning.
It wasn't anything I needed to act upon. It was just there, a vision of happier place and time. A future where the pain no longer ruled our days. A future where the plans we'd made could be realized. A future where I'm able to take something positive from this experience.
My future hung on my wall as a reminder that I was still here for a reason. I knew the world had more plans for me, I just needed a pause button for a little while.
Sometimes we just need a pause button. Time to slow down and give ourselves a little grace. When was the last time you slowed down? I'd love to hear about the last time you hit the button. Leave a comment below.
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